Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+27): View more from South Africa

This girl is more easily done than said...

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!

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(516): View more from New York

She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"

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(765): View more from Indiana

She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?

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(573): View more from Missouri

I want her autograph on my taint

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(540): View more from Virginia

I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.

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(801): View more from Utah

Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.

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