i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
