i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
