Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
