Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
