I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
