Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
