Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
