Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
