The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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