hotel room ftw
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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