and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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