I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's always time for handjobs
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Randomize
