And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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