drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
