i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
