highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
