Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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