I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
