you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think my moral compass just broke
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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