ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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