You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
