in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
