I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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