dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So much rum. So many feels.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
