I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
