I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
