We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
