Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
