Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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