No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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