Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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