How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
