so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
