I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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