wake up i wanna do it froggy style
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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