im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
