how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
