just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
