I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
