his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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