I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
