Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
