pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
