Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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