i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
even my farts smell like vagina
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
