also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
