new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
