two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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