Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
